For All the Wrong Reasons
by Aspirator
Summary: Mikan has been doing everything all her life for the all the wrong reasons. Mikan wonders if giving up would be for the wrong reason. Natsume, on the other hand, wonders if he's trying too hard.


**For All the Wrong Reasons.**

Mikan has been doing everything all her life for the all the wrong reasons. Now she wonders if getting in a relationship was the right choice. NatsumeMikan.

_TheWanderlust._

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><p>They sat across each other stoically.<p>

Both had decided the silent treatment was best.

Whatever came out of their mouth, the other would take it the wrong way, anyway.

It wasn't worth it - or was it?

There was a moment when they both looked up at the same time, but Mikan looked away with troubled mahogany eyes. It was the same color as the table, Natsume noted.

He, of course, was brave enough to continue his straightforward stare into her soul. Except that he couldn't quite see it. Or understand what she's thinking, for that matter.

Natsume wasn't a words person, everyone knew that. It was an understanding. Mikan would be the talker, and he'd be the strong and silent one. You know, like beauty and the beast. Mikan would charm everyone, and Natsume'd be the powerful good-looking guy in the background - the one that's always there. The constant.

Again, Natsume isn't a wordy person, so he's going to stop trying to make connections and analyze his relationship with Mikan.

It's what they've been arguing about actually.

He'd like to say it's all her fault, but he knew she'd say it was all his. But when he really thought about it deeply, it was both their fault.

She hadn't been...He doesn't know what's wrong with her. She's just not as enthusiastic with him anymore. It's not like she ever was, but she's been trying to distance herself. And because he's a straightforward type of guy, he asks her why. ("That's the stupidest thing I've heard you do! You do not go up to your girlfriend and ask her why she's distancing herself from you!" Says Ruka, the so-called best friend that's supposed to support him but instead does quite the opposite. Natsume doesn't understand why not, if he wants to know, he goes and gets to know.)

So Natsume wasn't so sure, but he has a theory. Part of it was that it might've been his fault for asking her directly. He doesn't know why that's so terrible, but Ruka, the love expert apparently, says so.

Natsume isn't the only one with a universal understanding. The thing with Ruka is that if you don't understand something, do NOT go to him. You'd expect Natsume to be the one with the explanation-deficiency, but no. You see, Natsume's just not a wordy person. So when you ask him something, he explains it in the most simplest way possible. Therefore, very easy to understand. Ruka, on the other hand, tries to explain it in detail, ending up confusing both himself and his victim.

Therefore, Natsume didn't even bother asking the reasoning behind Ruka's outburst. It wasn't like he'd understand anyway.

Another part of his theory was that maybe he hadn't tried to listen to Mikan. He asked her why, but he didn't accept her explanations. It wasn't like she had even tried to explain anyway. Just said something like, "I just didn't feel it's going to work out."

Because Natsume took pride in the way he actually tried to make it work in their relationship with all their different work schedules, he took offense to that. Which led to a fight, and him walking out.

If she'd only see how hard he's trying.

He may not look like it but he is. Really.

She knows him, he knows. She knows that he doesn't usually buy dinner for other people when they worked overtime, or help them with their research with his own resources - he would never buy anyone a large supply of tea and other essentials when they didn't have time to go grocery shopping. But he did.

Mochu says he's gotta tell her that's he's trying and give her a choice; "you gotta be the man and tell her what's up with you and she has a choice of giving up on her side of the relationship and ruining it or really trying and making it work, because it can't be all just you, man. There was that one thing, somethin' about taking two to dance or whatever?"

That was pretty deep for a man like Mochu. Like finding out the water is actually ten feet deep where you'd expect something like kiddie-pool kind of shallow. (Most of the time it is though.)

This has been going on for about a week. Or two. Or maybe five.

It felt like it had dragged on, and as cheesy as this is, Natsume wishes they could just forget about it all and go back to how they had been. They had been something. He wasn't quite sure what, but it was something.

But that's not how it works. That's not how life works. That's not how a relationship works. As much as one wishes, one can not turn back time.

So today, on August 26th, 2011, Natsume decided this was gonna be their last chance.

One of them walks out, and they might not be in each other's life anymore. Or maybe not as important as it had been.

Apparently, Mikan had the same thought. For when he showed up at her apartment, she sat him down in front of her mahogany dining table.

There was a moment of silence, then she started with, "I don't know what to do."

He thought the answer to that was quite simple, "Do what we've been doing for the past two years."

She glared at him. "But things change, Natsume! It's not like it was anymore."

"Obviously."

And from then they escalated to a fight.

Ruka isn't the only one who has a difficulty explaining things."You're always just- you! You don't understand because you never change!"

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"NO! You're a jerk and you'll never change!"

"What- did you think that when I asked you to be my girlfriend, I'd suddenly become some gay eco friendly - "

"No but I didn't think you'd still have the mind of a five year old!"

"I don't-" She gave him a look. He threw up his hands, fine he'll surrender for once. (See? That's pretty big for Natsume Hyuuga.) "But y_ou_ changed."

"Yeah, because that's what normal people do! _Normal_ people change!"

Natsume shrugged, "So I've dealt with it. What's your problem?"

The second Mikan opened her mouth, Natsume knew what she was going to do. In response he stood up and left. Leaving behind a lot of frustrated screaming and book throwing.

In about ten minutes, Mikan looked up to see Natsume walk in with two cups of tea.

She was lying face down on the carpet when he walked in. It worried him a bit, but she tended to do that sometimes when something really stressed her out. Apparently she liked to just spread out and sometimes fall asleep to relax.

He set the two cups down on the mahogany table, sitting down in his seat, fully aware that Mikan was watching him the whole time. He waited in his seat for her to join him.

Eventually she did.

Taking a seat and a sip, she commented, "Earl Grey, your favorite."

Natsume only nodded.

There's another thing that only Natsume's close friends know about him. He has a thing with tea. He's a strong tea-believer. His prefers English tea, but other teas are okay. The only tea he absolutely will NOT drink is orange tea. It's strange because you'd expect to him like orange tea, right? Mikan- you know, orange. But no, even if he did meet a girl named orange, he wasn't going to change his views on orange tea. It was gross, period. So Natsume liked to drink tea slowly, it was his thing, and he'd like to savor that moment. You'd only figure it out if you really observe him, though.

Another thing Mikan needs to realize about Natsume is that sharing his tea thing is kind of really special.

When Natsume was halfway through his cup of tea, Mikan spoke again. This time, her voice is softer. And Natsume kept his mouth shut.

She stared down at her tea as she started, "All my life, Natsume, I've been doing things for the wrong reasons. Everything. My precalculus teacher in tenth grade asked the class to write down why they picked that class. You know what I wrote? Because someone said I was stupid. So I doubled up over the summer."

There was a pause as she sipped her tea.

"I left that kid in the dust in Algebra Two, if you were wondering."

Natsume merely smirked in response.

And then begins their reconciliation.

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><p>This is mostly me applied to the GA world. I'm the one with the explanation-deficiency. I love tea (Earl Grey is my favorite) and orange tea is gross, end of discussion. And I have an "all the wrong reasons" problem. So this is my way of letting out all my frustrations. I have neither amazing friends who understand or an amazing boyfriend, so bear with my imaginations.<p> 


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